The Life Changing Decision To Break Up With Food - Stanley Bronstein

A single, honest question changed everything: where will I be in five years if I keep going? Stanley Bronstein faced the answer—dead—and chose a different path. What followed wasn’t a miracle diet or a surgery. It was standards: cut alcohol, drop the soda, eat real food, and walk every day. He turned a lifetime of grief‑driven eating into a 220‑pound loss and built a system that stuck for 17 years.

We dig into how childhood loss fed self‑soothing and denial, and how a moment of healthy selfishness set clear boundaries at home and at the table. Stanley breaks down his phased approach to food—from removing red meat to going fully plant‑based to ditch dairy and ultraprocessed treats—and why identity beats willpower. When you become the person who only eats healthy food, decisions vanish and progress compounds. He also explains why excellence outperforms perfection: a missed day becomes feedback, not failure.

Walking is Stanley’s proof of possibility. From struggling through two blocks to logging 72,000 miles, he shows how movement restores mood, confidence, and agency. We call out the myths that promise shortcuts, question surgery‑ and drug‑first solutions, and return to the basics that work anywhere—even on a European trip where market food replaced restaurant indulgence. 

Stanley shares free resources at thewayofexcellence.com and invites you to join the Million Pound Weight Loss Challenge, a safe, global community targeting 50,000 people losing twenty pounds each.

If you’re ready to trade circumstances for standards, hit play. Then subscribe, share this with someone who needs a nudge, and leave a review with the one standard you’ll adopt today.

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Chapters

• 0:57 Meet Stanley Bronstein
• 1:40 Childhood Loss And Obesity’s Roots
• 2:46 The Wake-Up Moment At Fifty
• 6:22 Healthy Selfishness And Hard Lines
• 8:02 Cutting Alcohol And Soda
• 11:14 How It Felt At 367 Pounds
• 15:23 From Meat To Vegan And Identity Shift
• 20:30 Excellence Over Perfection
• 23:43 100% Commitment And No Decisions
• 26:34 Walking 72,000 Miles And Power
• 30:12 Standards Versus Circumstances
• 32:00 Free Resources And Mission
• 33:58 Quick Hits: Myths, Sabotage, Goals

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:38

Welcome back to one on one with Mr. U. Of course, I'm your host, Mr. U in studio with us, a good buddy of mine, community builder, author, weight loss expert, Stanley Bronstein is in the house, man. Stan, how are you, brother? Good to see you, man. Doing great. Thank you for having me, sir. Pleasure's mine, man. Glad to have you in here. We had an awesome conversation in our pre-interview. I want to get into more of that and see if we can help our audience learn something today. I'm sure that's going to happen for sure. But tell us about your childhood, your upbringing. Tell me what was significant about how you came up with getting to where you are today.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11

Okay. I am a like most people who reach the age of 66. I am a creature of my experiences. Well, the number one experience, the main, the main first experience of my life was my mother died when I was eight.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29

Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.

SPEAKER_02: 1:30

Uh, needless to say, that messed with my head, and I was living with my massively, massively obese father, and we both just ate ourselves into oblivion. That set me on the course for uh most of my life being massively obese. You know, just that whole experience set me on a course which was so totally different than my childhood. And along the way, I had starts and stops. I would lose weight, then I'd go back to my old habits, I'd put it on, I'd put even more weight on, then I'd lose some more weight, then I'd put some more back on, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Well, I'm kind of jumping through a lot of stuff here.

SPEAKER_00: 2:15

That's all right, good.

SPEAKER_02: 2:16

As I as I was getting ready to turn 50 years old, which was almost exactly 17 years ago. Um, in 11 days, it'll be 17 years. February 1st, 2009. I woke up and I said, Where am I going to be in five years if I keep going the way I'm going? Care to guess what the answer was?

SPEAKER_00: 2:42

I don't have dead.

SPEAKER_02: 2:44

Dead. And I did not like that answer. I didn't want to be dead. So I said, What am I doing here? I'm wasting my potential. I can be so much more than I am. And I just I turned to my wife and I said, I'm cooked. I'm done. Wow. You know, I won't, I won't say I hit rock bottom because no, I didn't hit rock bottom, but I was on my way. Um, you know, I hadn't had a heart attack yet, I hadn't had a stroke yet. I wasn't on diabetes medication yet, but I probably should have been. I wasn't on high blood pressure medication yet, but I probably should have been. All those things. I mean, as I like to say, I was committing slow aside.

SPEAKER_00: 3:33

Slow, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 3:34

Yes, I was slowly eating myself to death. I didn't put a gun to my head, but I was slowly eating myself to death. So I said, I'm done. No more. I said, I'm gonna stop tolerating BS in my life, and the number one person I'm gonna stop tolerating it from is myself.

SPEAKER_00: 3:53

Wow, that's powerful.

SPEAKER_02: 3:55

So I took personal responsibility, and but I didn't even blame myself. I just said I need this is what I need to do. I need to start doing stuff. So I I had a moment of awareness, and I actually decided to take action based upon what I figured out as a result of my awareness, and I said, I'm gonna learn to start eating better right now. I'm gonna start exercising every day right now, if my body is up to it, because I was you know beat up. Yeah, and but I'm gonna start doing that right now. And my exercise of choice is going to be walking, and I picked walking because you don't need a lot of equipment, you can do it almost anywhere, and I felt like it wasn't as hard on the body as something like running or cycling, so so I decided to do it. This is all four months before I was turning 50. I told my wife I'm gonna start making some changes in my life right now. You might like them and you might not like them. And if you don't like them, I don't care. I have to make these changes, or I'm gonna be dead. I told her that I'm going on a journey, I'm inviting you to come along with me, and I hope you do. But if you don't want to, there's the door you can walk out right now.

SPEAKER_00: 5:29

You didn't say that.

SPEAKER_02: 5:30

Yes, I did. Yeah, hang on, but but but I'm gonna give you a spoiler alert. We're still married. Yeah, I knew that part, but no, but uh, but I did, I I told her seriously, I told her that that I had what I call a moment of healthy selfishness. Being selfish is not always a bad thing, in your case, it was really good. Yeah, sometimes you need to be. So I had a moment of healthy selfishness. Well, right away, I started doing three things. First thing is I quit drinking. I used to drink scotch, drinking alcohol. I used to drink drink scotch almost every day. I won't say I was an alcoholic, but I will say I was drinking too much, and I will say that I was serving the alcohol and it was not serving me. So I quit, and and you as an ordained minister, I think you can understand that part about serving. So I said, alcohol's gone, cut it out right there. I haven't had a drink in 17 years, and honestly, I don't miss it. Like I don't miss it, and it makes going to parties where other where everyone else is drinking a lot more interesting. Um so it does. So then I said those two-liter bottles of soda. Oh, bad. I was drinking the diet diet caffeine free, so surely that was healthy, right? Uh no. So I was drinking three of those a day. Cut those out. Haven't had one in 17 years. Cut those out. Wow, yeah. Wow. You got look, look here. This is what I used to be. It took a lot of work to get to get like that.

SPEAKER_00: 7:23

That's in purpose. I gotta I gotta ask you something, man. I gotta ask you something here. I don't I don't I don't want to lose this train of thought here. So I could be could be a pivot, but I want to ask you something. People are watching, listening right now that may have a similar issue, and they may not really be in touch. Now I mean this in the most sensitive, delicate way. They may not be in touch with the reality of what they're actually in. So I want to talk to you about that real quick. Give me your best uh uh answer for this. I think you went up to about 367, I think you said, right? That was the weight at its height. Yeah, tell the listeners in the audience how you actually felt during this time, what you were experiencing mentally, support systems in your life, if you had any accountability, tell me all that was going on as as brief as you can. If you had accountability, were you what were you thinking? How do you feel?

SPEAKER_02: 8:18

Yeah, physically, I felt like crap. Okay, okay, mentally, mentally, most of the time I felt fine. You know, I was a successful lawyer, successful CPA, I was making a good living, you know, I was doing well, but on some level, I was unhappy. I had difficulty in my relationships until I got married. I you know, I got married during one of those periods where I lost a little bit of weight, I got down to like 250, and I got I got to the point where I was looking good enough where women were interested in me. And you know, but then by the time I started my journey 17 years ago, I got all the way back up to 320, and my wife stuck with me, but you know, but I was bigger than when we got married, and um I didn't feel good, and and on some level, looking back at it, I didn't respect myself. You know, think about that. You know, I used to complain that I wasn't getting the level of respect I wanted from people, but when you're walking around at 367 pounds, you're outwardly telling people that on some level you don't respect yourself.

SPEAKER_00: 9:30

That's good. Think about that, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 9:34

And and and in touch with your comment that people may not be in touch with their reality, their situation. They're in touch with it, it's just they're denying it, and I understand that I did it for years. We are all human beings. It is tough to admit to ourselves that we're screwing up, and it's tough to take action and we're afraid. We we fear the changes, we fear the loss, we fear giving up, we're gonna give up. Everybody tells me, you know, that the third thing I gave up on that day was I gave up eating red meat, I gave up beef and pork, and and considering I my father was a butcher, and I grew up in a house with unlimited free meat, that you know, that was something to quit eating red meat. And but and then later on I became a vegetarian. I gave up chicken and turkey, and then later on I became actually became vegan because I realized that I wasn't gonna be, I wasn't gonna be able to get off the rest of my weight until I stopped eating bread, butter, cheese, and ice cream. And when I quit eating those things, I lost like 50 pounds in like five minutes. I'm not kidding you. And the way the weight just melted. But people tell me, look what you've given up, and I go, I haven't I haven't given up a thing. Look what I've gained. Good lord. Which of these pictures would you rather be?

SPEAKER_00: 11:14

Yeah, look what I've gained, and I didn't give up anything, yeah. And you did this without this the amazing part is that you lost primarily right about 220 pounds, yeah. Without drugs and without surgery, I we can't gloss over that part. Without drugs, without surgery, 220 pounds kept it off for 17 years. How do you how can you explain to the people who are watching and listening right now how you made that a permanent thing? Was it just the food? Was it the walking? Was it a mindset? How did it become permanent? So it didn't come back.

SPEAKER_02: 11:48

Okay, first of all, I just want to clarify when we say 17 years, the weight came off over those those time periods. I didn't get down to my current weight until probably about five years ago.

SPEAKER_01: 12:00

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02: 12:01

So you know, but it it came off, but the point is I never went backwards. You know, the way how I did it, it's many things. First of all, it's I'm gonna get into philosophy here. I stopped trying to be perfect. Instead, I realized that the goal is not perfection, the goal is excellence. And when you're perfect, the minute when you try to be perfect, the minute you mess up, you screwed up, you're done. Yeah, when you try to be excellent, the minute you screw up, you go, Well, I screwed up, let's do better tomorrow. So I came up with a philosophy that I call beat yesterday.

SPEAKER_00: 12:42

We're not screwed.

SPEAKER_02: 12:43

The goal is to be better today than you were yesterday, be better tomorrow than you were today. And I'll tell you right now, sometimes breaking even and not going backwards is beating yesterday. You know, if you think about that, I think, and you know, just staying even. I mean, I had you know times where I stayed even for long periods of time, but I never put it back on. And that is the key part, you know, never, you know, I might put on five or ten pounds, but then I take it back off right away because I knew how to do it. Now, first of all, successful weight loss is 90% between your ears.

SPEAKER_00: 14:15

I want to get I want to get to that the discipline, the mindset.

SPEAKER_02: 14:19

Okay, for and well, first of all, and and the drug companies, and and I don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to knock doctors either. I like you know, look, if I get run over by a car, please take me to the emergency room. But a lot of this is what they're taught in medical school, but I believe, and this is my opinion here, we're being sold a bill of goods. You know, you're told that you need to take the easy way out. You know, here's a shot. Take the shot now, go eat your crap and you'll lose weight, or whatever. Or here's surgery, go eat your crap, you'll lose weight. You know, anybody who goes through weight loss surgery, the first thing they tell you is that after the surgery, you need to start walking every day and you need to start eating better. Uh duh. Why don't you just start eating better and start walking and skip the surgery? Okay, that that's what I think. And I mean, I've I mean, I I've got a good friend, a good friend of my wife's. She had many years ago, she said that probably 10 years ago, she said she was going to do weight loss surgery. And I said, Would you please come stay with us for a week? Come visit us, stay with us for a week, and let me show you what I do. And then if you want to do the surgery afterwards, go ahead. She didn't do it. We just she disappeared. We didn't hear from her for a while. She had the surgery, she had the surgery, she did lost some, she lost some weight, she's kept most of it off, put some of it back on, you know. But she had the surgery, and she'll tell you to your face. You know, I asked her one time, I said, Are you sorry that you didn't come visit me before you had the surgery? And she said, Yes, I am. She said, if I knew what I knew now, I would have made changes in my life and I would have skipped the surgery. And I and that's not the only person I know who said things like that. It and the drugs, we don't we don't know what the long-term effect of these drugs are.

SPEAKER_00: 16:19

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02: 16:20

We we don't. And and we're just messing with our body chemistry and we're messing things up. And instead, if you learn to eat healthy, if you become 100% committed to only putting healthy food in your mouth, see that's the key. I am 100% committed to only putting healthy food in my mouth. Before Christmas, somebody gave me cupcakes and cookies. I didn't eat them, I didn't think about eating them, I didn't want to eat them. I gave them to a neighbor who's skinny, who likes that kind of stuff. And and and you know, and that was it. I didn't think about it. I I yesterday somebody asked me, they said they made a cake. Did I want some cake? I said, no, thank you. I won't eat it. I don't eat that kind of stuff. It's I changed my identity. I am a person, only healthy food enters my mouth. I went to Europe for nine days, about five or six months ago. I didn't gain any weight when I was in Europe because I didn't go to restaurants eating delicious but not healthy food. Instead, I went to the grocery stores, the markets, and I found healthy food and I ate those. If my wife wanted to go to a restaurant, I'd let her, she'd go to the restaurant and she'd get what she wanted. She'd do takeout or whatever, and she could eat what she wanted, but she's skinny. You know, she's never dealt with the issues that I have dealt with. So I am one and the funny thing is, as she's getting older and starts, you know, realizing that health is more and more important, important, she is starting to eat more healthy too. Yeah, and so that's it. That's the secret. When you become 100% committed, it becomes easy because there are no decisions to be made. I do not, I do not have to ask myself, am I going to eat healthy today? I already know the answer. I'm really healthy. I do not have to ask myself, am I going to walk today? I already know the answer. The answer is I'm going to. And to show you something, I learned three things from this experience. The first thing I learned is that I am more powerful than I ever imagined. And I'm saying that as I've always been a confident guy. My mother, when she was alive, raised me to be a very confident kid. I became an attorney and a CPA. I have had a successful career. I am confident. But the experience of losing this weight and keeping it off and walking as much as I do blew my mind. I learned that I am more powerful than I ever imagined. The second thing I learned is that if I'm more powerful than I ever imagined, what else is out there waiting for me to do that I haven't done yet that I should be doing? And the answer I came up with was teaching what I've learned to others and helping others. And I and I do that in two ways, which we'll go into, but then I learned the third thing, and this is what your listeners need to listen to. If I am more powerful than I ever imagined, so are you. We are all, each and every one of us, more powerful than we ever imagined. Here it is. You are more powerful than you ever imagined. Think about that. Believe it. Believe in yourself, believe in your abilities, believe in your talents, believe in your ideas. You are much more powerful than you ever imagined. And all of this sounds pretty scary, doesn't it? Well, the way to do it is change your mindset about fear. Face fear. You know what happens to fear when you face fear, it runs away. It's afraid of you. You know, face your fears. It's okay to do that because all the good stuff in life, or most of the good stuff in life, is on the other side of your fears. It really is. And to show you, I'm going to give you some evidence how I'm more powerful than I ever imagined. Not only did I lose 220 pounds and keep it off, not only okay. When I started out walking, I had trouble walking two or three blocks. Well, since that point, I have built my walking up. To where at the age of 66, this is how much I walked last year. I started in Los Angeles and almost made it to London, except I ended up in the middle of the Atlantic. Okay. Over the last 17 years, I have walked 72,000 miles. Wow. That's 30% of the distance to the moon. And if you want to put it in terms of the earth itself, I have walked around the circumference of the earth at the equator, June. If I see on my present page June or July, it will be three times that I've walked around the earth at the equator since that starting date.

SPEAKER_01: 21:54

That's incredible, man.

SPEAKER_02: 21:55

That's awesome. And and and it's not that I'm Superman, and it's not that I'm nuts. I do it because I can. That's part of the fun I'm having. I want to see what I can do. I haven't found my limits yet.

SPEAKER_00: 22:10

I love it. Oh man, our time, our time's almost out. So I want to try to get a few more questions in, but go ahead. I want to speak to the men because this I do a lot of men's groups, a lot of stuff with our men's roundtable series, podcasts, and such. How do you encourage a man to start thinking about standards as opposed to dealing with circumstances? Because when people try to embrace weight loss or something like that, a big mountain in life, like what you conquered, they look at they focus more on circumstances than the standards. You laid it out, but how would you explain to somebody who needs to accomplish the same thing? How would you explain to them with a understanding? You've done it. Okay, you're how would you explain to somebody who is not focusing on having a standard, but they more focus on the circumstances in their life and this okay, rather than accomplishing things. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02: 23:05

There are all kinds of circumstances. I have been hit with a lot of negative circumstances, and I have been blessed with a lot of positive circumstances. You know, I grew up in a family where my mother and father loved each other. I grew up in a family where there was always food on the table, there was always a roof over my head. My father sent me to college. You know, I've been successful. A lot of people do not have that, and they've never had that. Instead, I had a circumstance where my mother, who I worshiped, died when I was eight years old. And and and I was set on a path of obesity. Bad obesity. I mean bad. You know, that was the circumstance I faced. I it sucks. I mean, don't get me wrong, it sucks if you don't have food on the table. It sucks. It sucks if your father beats your mother. It sucks if your father ran off, you know, when you were a kid, all those things suck big time. I get it. But the question becomes what are you going to do about it? And we all have different challenges, we all face different circumstances, but if you remember that you are more powerful than you ever imagined, you can figure out some way to deal with it as best as you can. I mean, that that's all you can do. You can take what life has given you, you can take the cards you've been dealt and do the best you can. And don't be afraid to ask for help. You know, so many people they're so proud they're afraid to ask for help. That's one of the reasons that I make. If you go to my website, the one that he's showing on the screen right now, thewayofexcellence.com, I have seven books on there and tons of videos that are all in the Way of Excellence series that teach you the system, teach you how to apply it, and I have made all of them available for free.

SPEAKER_00: 25:33

Oh, wow. That's generous, man. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 25:36

And the reason I've made, and it's not that I don't love money, it's not, it's not that I don't want you to hire me to work with me privately or work with me in a group setting, which you're welcome to do. It is because I am grateful for the life I have been given and the life I've been able to create. And I believe it is my privilege, I believe I've learned the things that I've learned and I've gone through the experiences I've gone through to teach me, to prepare me for my mission in life, my purpose in life, which is to help others. And I believe I know it is not my obligation to help you, it is my privilege to help you. I am in a situation where I have been through things and I have learned things that may benefit you, and it is my privilege to help you, and that is why I made the books available for free, so that if someone wants to go to the website, I mean they're welcome to email me if they want to. There's a link on there to do that. They can contact me if they want to, but they don't have to. If they don't have if you don't have two nickels to rub together, if you're living in your car, if you're doing whatever, you can download these books and read them on your phone. If you have that, you can go to the library and read them online. You can do whatever, it's there, and that's why I didn't want to put any barriers in front of people to help themselves.

SPEAKER_00: 27:17

Well done. I want to ask you four more questions because I feel like they have value for the audience. Go for it. But you got to be concise answers coming from me because I want to try to get some stuff out here to help our listeners out. So, real quick, biggest misconception about weight loss in a sentence that it's hard.

SPEAKER_02: 27:40

You're nailing it, so it's it's believe me, it is easier to be the person on the right than it is to be the person on the left.

SPEAKER_00: 27:55

Give me what what's the most common form of self-sabotage that comes to mind for you when it comes to weight loss and seeing uh fixated on your goals?

SPEAKER_02: 28:06

Form of self-sabotage, quitting when you screwed up back to perfect. If you screwed up, say I screwed up, you know. Here, learn from the past, think about the future, but live now. You screwed up, good. You screwed up, what'd you learn from it? Don't screw up again, go back, hop back on the wagon. That's it.

SPEAKER_00: 28:33

There you go. I love that. I love that. All right, so this one should be a little bit of an easier question, but you were talking about a million-pound weight loss challenge. What's that about?

SPEAKER_02: 28:43

Okay, it is. I said, I like dreaming big dreams. So I said, I want to get 50,000 or more people to lose 20 pounds each, 20 or more pounds each. 50,000 times 20, that's a million. So I called it the million pound weight loss challenge. It's a website called Million. It's um it's right here. Million Poundweight Loss Challenge.com. Million Poundweight Loss Challenge.com. If you can, please put that in the show notes too. And um, it's a website, it's free to join, but you have to join. And the reason why I made it a membership site is because I wanted to keep bad people out. I wanted to make it a safe space for people who want to lose weight. I didn't want to create a place where trolls could go to make fun of overweight people.

SPEAKER_00: 29:36

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02: 29:37

So, and right now it's got 4,800 members, about a thousand of them are outside the United States. So we have we have people all over the world, and and it has it's full of some more books on healthy weight loss, walking, and tons of videos, great information, and the and it's information on how to lose weight in a healthy way from someone who's not trying to make a buck off of you.

SPEAKER_00: 30:07

I love this man. I got it in I got it in the uh in the chat so people can grab it. Million pound weight loss challenge.com. The goal is 50,000 people that will lose 20 pounds each. I don't know. I'm very good with uh grammar, it's uh screen is doing something weird. I know how to put comments and spaces on what's happening. Okay, so I want to give you one last question to think about if we focus on this toward the listener, because I want them to hear this. I think it's gonna be valuable for them to hear this today. But assuming that somebody's watching or listening right now and they want to start this process today, they perhaps they just go offline and they close this uh broadcast out, they may trick themselves into forgetting about it and go back to their old life. But they want to start right now, they got you on the screen, you're listening, you're listening, you're talking to them. What's the first two or three steps they need to take to uh not only achieve sustained health, but the kind of personal excellence you've been talking about? What are the first two or three steps they need to take right now? First one is make up your mind.

SPEAKER_02: 31:21

Say the same thing I said. You're cooked, you're done, no more. I'm gonna change my life right now, starting right now. That's it. That that level of clarity, you know, that was an epiphany that I had. You know, that's it. Right now, you're done, you're cooked. You know, I've had enough, no more. That's it. You once you once you reach that point and you get that level of clarity, you're on your way, baby.

SPEAKER_00: 32:01

I love this, I love this. Thanks for being here, Stanley. This has been a fantastic conversation, man. Your story is amazing. I mean, guys, if you haven't heard this and you you phased out, you got busy with the kids and stuff like that. Check that go back to the episode in the beginning of this and listen to this. And a link to meet Stanley, the wayof excellence.com. You'll learn more about the program that he's built, and download free copies of his latest books and join his mailing list and be able to hear more about the million pound weight loss challenge, which is on our on this in the show notes. You can see it right here. Will you million pound weight loss challenge dot com. The goal, 50,000 people losing 20 pounds. That makes a million pounds loss. Could you imagine the kind of life change that people can have if they lose, they lose a million pounds? It it may just be 20 pounds for each individual person, but imagine how many lives are changed dramatically because they lost weight, man, and they uh are eating healthier and living a healthier lifestyle, the quality of life with them and their spouse and their children. Brother, thanks for coming here and sharing some of your system and your personal journey. Really appreciate it, man. I give you about two minutes to speak to the audience, man. Whatever you want to share, whatever you want to uh encourage them with. You got 120 seconds, brother. It's all yours. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_02: 33:23

I believe in you, I believe in you, I believe in you, I believe in you, I believe in you. And in case you haven't heard it, I believe in you. The question is: do you believe in yourself? You are more powerful than you ever imagined. Focus your mind, start training your body, feed your spirit. This is your time. You are powerful beyond measure. You've got this. This is your time. I'm done.

SPEAKER_00: 34:02

Love it. Thank you for being here, brother. Thewayofs.com and million poundweight loss challenge.com. Get with the program, get on this journey.